What is my blog about?
You might be wondering what this site is? What preferred indifferents are? If I spelled the word indifference wrong? Or you may have come here because you know exactly what they are and you’re just trying to figure out how stoicism can help you control your emotions. I’ll explain. This is the first blog, I’ve ever written, because this is my first company, and I want to share my experience, though, It all seems a little self-serving because I wouldn’t be writing this if I hadn’t had the idea for a business.
But you’re here, you’re still reading, and you’re interested, and if I fail at building a meaningful connection, I can at least help you understand what I mean by preferred indifferents, or maybe just why I named my shop that.
It would be fair to say I’ve always been different. As a child in the 1980’s I loved black-and-white movies, Broadway show tunes, and Greek mythology. I still like those things. I questioned everything. I could never understand how a person could say “If everyone jumped off a cliff would you?” as an argument NOT to do something and then say to that same person “A lot of people believe it’s okay to…” as an argument TO do something. It’s the same argument! And it’s not a good one in either case.
Here’s the thing, people really hate when you question things that are generally accepted. Even when those things are objectively terrible and need to be questioned, you’ll be yelled at, or laughed at, sometimes both. So, I mostly questioned things in my head, when I could manage it. And I became angry. I came to believe ignorance really was bliss, and that reason, in an unreasonable world, could only lead to misery.
I was angry all the time. Angry about how dyslexia changed the way my classmates treated me. Enraged every mealtime because I had misophonia. And confronted with injustice everywhere I looked. But if you’ve come here because you’re a woman who’s interested in stoicism, which you likely are, and you live in society, which you likely do, then you don’t need me to explain to you all the reasons I was angry. Everyone has their own.
So, let’s talk about stoicism
Let’s talk about stoicism. So, a few years ago I read “The Practicing Stoic” by Ward Farnsworth (he’s not paying me) and it changed my life. I‘m still new to this philosophy. It’s something that will take a lifetime to master, and I’m not here to teach anyone anything, I just want to talk with you about what I’ve learned, and to continue to learn with you, because what I found in that book, The Meditations, and The Enchiridion, has improved my life in every way.
I’m still working on it, but I’m almost never angry anymore, and my misophonia hasn’t been triggered in months. If you have this condition that will sound like the craziest thing in the world to you, but the way stoicism has taught me to change my thinking has freed me from the dread I used to feel every time I ate with people. I don’t know if it will work for anyone else, but I sincerely hope so, because it was an awful way to live.
It’s not just that stoicism taught me how to release my anger, it also showed me that I wasn’t alone in many things I believed. It taught me how to appreciate every moment. It gave me the freedom to have nothing to fear, and the strength to open myself up to you now, through this blog.
Okay, the million-dollar question. “What are preferred indifferents?”
In Stoicism, “indifferents” are external circumstances, possessions, and events that are neither inherently good nor bad, because the only things that can be inherently good or bad are virtue and character. To practicing Stoics, the only thing that is not to be treated with indifference is your moral character. —
Obviously, I’m a fan of the philosophy, and I thought it would be nice to have something with The Virtues, or Amor Fati, on it as a reminder of the things I’m striving for, but I didn’t really find anything I liked. I didn’t really find anything that would appeal to ANY of the women I know.
Life can be hard for women. I expect to be dismissed or talked down to at least once every day I have to leave the house. But Epictetus was a slave who learned how to be free, and so can I, so can you. We just have to try.
So, I decided to play around with some drawings. I thought they came out pretty good and my friend, now business partner, thought so too, so I’m selling stoicism merchandise on the internet because I thought people might like it. Because I spent most of my life so far, believing no one in the whole world thought like me, and then I learned people have been asking the same kind of questions I was in my childhood, since before the time of Christ. So maybe you like stoicism too, but just need some daily reminders and quotes to help you remember that, “You are strong.”
The irony
“But what about the shop name!” I can feel you shouting. Honestly, I just thought it was funny and absurd.
I mean how do you open a shop selling things to people who understand how little value material things have? I figured I’d just be upfront about it. They are only things. They won’t make your life better. They won’t bring you happiness in the long run. I hope you like them. I hope you find them beautiful, inspiring, grounding, or whatever you need. But of course, you shouldn’t attach your happiness to something outside of your control. In essence, that is the whole idea behind preferred-indeifferents.com
Anyway, thanks for reading all that. You’re a Stoic to the end.
-The Loquacious Stoic