Don’t Worry About a Thing, Because Nothing’s Going to Be Alright

Literally the pre-meditation of evils, is the Stoic practice of negative visualization, and it’s what I’m going to talk about today. I know it can sound intimidating and scary, and this one may be difficult for some of us, but if you want to try it, there are amazing advantages.

Negative visualization can help reduce stress, anxiety, and even create a kind of inner peace when approached in the Stoic fashion. It sounds counterintuitive that thinking about bad things could make us happy, and I’ll do my best to explain how, but first let me take you through the process.

It’s pretty straightforward, just think of the worst thing you can imagine, and then imagine it.

Please don’t stop reading.

I did try to warn you with the title. Stoicism demands we accept reality, which is sometimes hard, but it really is better than the alternative. Nothing is going to be alright, at least not all the time. You will suffer hardship, people you love will die, you will die. Everyone will, but when we think about those things we tend to become very sad, push it down, and try our best to think of something else. It’s understandable, most of us don’t like feeling sad, the problem is that doesn’t work. We actually find ourselves feeling sad a lot more of the time that way. Moving through the feeling is preferable to the vague sense of looming dread that persists by trying to ignore it.

Imagine the people you love most being taken away from you. Really imagine it though. Think of what your life would be like without them, grieve them, cry if you feel it. You’ll notice, these emotions pass so much faster when we let them in, than when we were trying to avoid them.

I mentioned the advantages of this practice. That was the first. The second thing you’ll notice is that you can’t help but appreciate the people in your life so much more. When the ones we love are gone we will miss all the love and joy they gave us, so it’s insanity not to appreciate those things while they’re here. And finally, you’ll notice that the knowledge that the worst hasn’t happened, at least not today, is pretty relaxing.

When we employ the practice of negative visualization toward the fear of things, other than the death of our loved ones, the practice can become a little bit more complicated. We should think of things we can control in a different way than we think about things we cannot. Sometimes all we really need to do is give something the proper amount of thought in order to dismiss it as silly, other times we might need to form a real plan of action for a solvable problem or give thought to how best we can react to a circumstance we don’t control.

Let’s use hosting Thanksgiving dinner as an example. A lot can go wrong. You might be worried about relatives bickering, the side-dishes coming out at different times, or snow keeping any of your guests from getting there at all. Any or all of those things could happen, this is a great opportunity to remind yourself that you’ll be okay if they do. No one will be upset with you if other people are arguing. You will behave politely, and they will decide for themselves how they want to spend the day. You can write down the time and temperature for the side-dishes and you can ask for help if you need it. And if everyone is snowed-in for the holiday that would make a pretty fantastic story for next year.

My family loves to tell stories. While other families are saying what they’re thankful for, we are telling stories of Thanksgiving’s past. They even have titles, “Racoon Stuffing” and “Go Back for The Coleslaw” are my favorites, (no racoons were harmed) but my point is sometimes the worst disasters make the best stories. Think about what you would do with all that food. Maybe your neighbors can’t get to their relatives either and all they have are the mashed potatoes they were going to bring, maybe you could invite them to join you. And what will your family do in their homes? What stories will they have of the dinners they cobbled together with what was around? Even the worst isn’t always that bad, depending on how you look at it.

Hold My Beer

This brings me to the final advantage of using negative visualization, a sense of extreme preparedness. We prepare for things within our control, by deciding what course of action to take, if such a circumstance should arise. We prepare for things outside our control, by deciding how we will react, if such a circumstance should arise. We don’t have to be surprised. We can use this practice to prepare instead of worry, and in that way, I guess everything kind of will be alright.

-The Loquacious Stoic